Perhaps one of the most difficult decisions children of elderly parents must make is when to broach the topic of moving and downsizing their current household goods. Maybe you’ve noticed your parents living in a home with a precarious flight of stairs that poses safety risks, or they’re seeking to maximize their retirement and relocate to a more manageable living situation.
No matter the reason, helping your elderly parents move and downsize their belongings is a significant undertaking—one that can evoke strong emotions if not approached with care. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 10,000 baby boomers turn 65 every day, and many are transitioning to retirement communities, smaller homes, or assisted living facilities. This life change often necessitates downsizing, which can be a daunting process.
Below, we’ve outlined steps to help your parents downsize with as little stress as possible. The key ingredients? Patience, empathy, and a genuine willingness to help them through this transition.
Approach the Topic with Kindness
When you broach the subject of downsizing your elderly parents’ belongings, remember that this conversation can be emotionally charged. Many items in their home are likely tied to decades of memories and personal milestones. Downsizing may feel like saying goodbye to cherished moments, even if the items themselves aren’t essential.
Start the conversation with kindness and sensitivity. Acknowledge how important their belongings are and express your intention to help them make thoughtful decisions. Statements like, “I know how much this house and these items mean to you” can go a long way in showing empathy. If the discussion doesn’t go smoothly at first, don’t push. Instead, revisit the topic gradually over time to allow them to process the idea.
Statistics show that emotional attachment to belongings is common among older adults.They often link their possessions to their identity and life achievements, making the thought of parting with items especially challenging.
Emphasize the Benefits of Downsizing
Highlighting the positives of downsizing can help ease your parents’ concerns. Focus on how decluttering can lead to a safer, more organized living space and a stress-free move. Downsizing can also bring financial benefits, such as reduced housing expenses and utility bills. For seniors relocating to retirement communities, a simpler lifestyle often means more time and energy for hobbies, social activities, or travel.
You might share examples of how downsizing has helped others in similar situations. For instance, studies from AARP have shown that seniors who declutter and move to smaller homes often report improved mental well-being and less daily stress. By framing downsizing as a step toward freedom and opportunity rather than loss, you can shift the narrative to something more positive.
Set Realistic Goals and Timelines
As most people aren’t exactly keen on the idea of getting rid of most of their household goods, be sure that you’re setting realistic goals and timelines. Your parents are about to experience a huge shift in their daily lives and giving them time to mentally prepare is a must.
Think back to when you first moved away from home. You knew you were going to move at least months, sometimes years, in advance. You gave yourself time to select what items you were bringing to your new home and prepared yourself for the change.
From making your initial suggestions to packing up items, make sure you and your parents are aligned on the goals of downsizing and how long it’s going to take. Keep them in the loop; provide occasional reminders to ensure everyone is still on the same page.
Make it Fun and Emphasize Inclusivity
Change doesn’t have to be scary. Try to include family members and friends in the downsizing process so that it’s more fun and exciting for your parents.
Though moving is difficult and you’re sure to be dealing with plenty of stress during this time, make room for positive experiences. Allow family and friends to bring food and snacks during packing or sorting days. If you find a dusty VHS tape of your elementary school play, pop it into your parents’ VCR as you work with them.
Be Comforting and Patient with Emotions
Though you’ll try to keep the downsizing fun and communicate with your parents every step of the way, negative emotions are something that really can’t be avoided. If you find your parents responding to packing or downsizing with anger or sadness, consider doing one of the following:
- Take a break from packing/downsizing and allow them to rest the remainder of the day.
- Encourage them to get out of the house and away from the mess. This could simply be a walk around the neighborhood.
- Allow them to express their emotions. Let them talk about how they’re feeling.
As your parents have comforted you, it’s now your turn to comfort. Try to avoid reasoning with them for long periods of time and know when to give them space.
Remember that Downsizing is Up to Them
Though you may not agree with all their decisions, the ultimate decision as to what to keep and what to get rid of is up to your parents. Avoid making them feel as though you’re telling them what they can and cannot keep.
This works best if you give them enough time to come to terms with the change and properly go through their things to their liking.
Get Rid of Things with Intentionality
As you and your parents downsize their belongings, you’re going to encounter plenty of stuff to get rid of. As you go, you can go through the following checklist to get items to the right location after your parents agree to part with them.
- Give items to loved ones: Invite people over and leave room for fun as you help your parents downsize. Ask your loved ones if they’d be interested in taking anything.
- Sell items: This can be done through a garage sale, at clothing consignment stores, or through second-hand furniture stores.
- Donate things: After you’ve sold things or given items to loved ones, you’ll likely still be left with a good amount of stuff to get rid of. Separate the remaining items by their condition. Items still in good condition can be donated, and items in poor condition can either be recycled or trashed.
- Trash or recycle the remaining items: Anything made of glass, paper, aluminum, steel, and cardboard can likely be recycled. For information on recycling plastic, make sure you check with your city’s recycling program.
Keep Items and Boxes Organized
Make sure you keep all remaining household goods organized after you and your parents downsize their things. Label all boxes and keep them clustered in their respective rooms so you can keep track of everything leading up to the move.
For an in-depth guide, check out our moving day checklist.
Celebrate Progress and New Beginnings
As your parents let go of items and prepare for their move, take time to celebrate their progress. Acknowledge their hard work and the courage it takes to embrace change. If possible, create a small “moving party” or a family gathering to honor the memories tied to their current home.
When they’ve settled into their new space, help them make it feel like home by unpacking treasured belongings, arranging furniture thoughtfully, and hanging familiar artwork or photos. This will help ease the transition and create a sense of comfort in their new surroundings.
Work with the Right Professionals
If you’re going to bring in professionals to help you and your parents downsize before they move, make sure you’re working with the right people. Before hiring someone, ask if they have experience working with elderly customers or clients. This includes the following professionals:
- Realtors
- Cleaners
- Organizational experts
- Moving companies
Again, remind yourself that this isn’t your home and your items. Be respectful of your parents and keep their preferences in mind as you hire people to assist you.
Looking for Moving Services in Portland, OR?
At Redefyne Moving, we provide our customers with world-class residential and commercial moving services. From packing to storage, we have solutions that meet your needs. Our crew is professionally trained and experienced in helping elderly parents transition to the next phase in their life. Contact us for a free moving quote today!
